Hello! Let’s have that coffee we haven’t had in ages. Please take a seat, I’m sorry I’m late I couldn’t find anything to wear and then my hair!!! Let’s just say natural hair is a piece of work but I love it all the same.
As we have our coffee I’d explain that my tardiness has a lot less to do with lack of planning than with circumstances beyond my control. I have started this post many times, with the intention of explaining that plans don’t always get implemented for a number of reasons. Execution has failed me for almost a month now, but never fear, here I am….Finally!!
I was always the kind of person that believed in having a plan. Writing it down too because then of course they must materialize after that, right?! Wrong!
If you don’t know this already, today is the day that you will learn that life happens. Out of the blue a circumstance, event, person or persons pop up and make it impossible for you to attain your goals in a certain timeframe.
Sip your coffee slowly and smile as I tell you what I planned how nothing on that list has come to pass, and why I’m actually ok with that.
I went to University aged 18 after having taken the customary gap year after high school. My plan then was simple. At 18 I had my life planned out:
- Graduate by 21 (this didn’t happen because UNZA and closures *rolls eyes* I graduated at 22)
- Move out of the house and get my own pad right after graduation, because of course I’d have a job and the capacity to live on my own (This didn’t happen either, I only moved into my own place about 3 years after graduation).
- Get a job after graduation because who doesn’t want to hire a degree holder??? (My first job came almost a year after graduation, I should really just call it an internship with peanuts for pay – But it did teach me valuable lessons)
- Get my Master’s by age 25 (I’m almost 27, whilst this is still a plan it hasn’t quite happen the way I envisioned it. Currently: Masters dololo)
- ….and now the biggest one get married perhaps by 27. Now this one requires a bit of a breakdown. I have a few sisters and cousins that got married at this age and they had achieved quite a lot of things by then so it seemed like a good age to aim for. Now I suppose when you couple African tradition and societal norms you’ll understand why there’s a lot of pressure to get married by your late 20s. You have all your aunts and grandmothers asking when you’re going to settle down and bring them an in-law (this really is a topic for a whole other blog post). Then half the pictures on your Facebook feed are filled with babies, weddings and engagements you kinda start to get that feeling of FOMO.
At this point I see you chuckle at the naivety of my plans over your cup.
Over the past two years of living on my own I have accepted that I’m not ready for half of the plans I had at 18 (except perhaps school).
There is so much pressure to have life figured out by your 20s and not enough emphasis on you learning (and loving) yourself and discovering who you are.
Well I say, discover yourself, travel, live love and take as much time as you need. It’s all well and good to have plans, I still do. Be aware that it won’t always come out right the first time around and that it’s OK to change your mind.
Allow yourself that liberty and you’ll be able to live more freely. Live life and live large!