Hello old friend! How are you? Are you well? I hope so.
As you have coffee with me today, I chose to drink parsley tea with some ginger. Just because I think it tastes pretty awesome.
It’s been a long time. I know, I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch but I’ve been working on myself. You see being a serial crushist is a lot of work and sometimes I have to retreat into myself to gather my thoughts. Today I’ll let you in on some unadulterated thoughts straight from my journal.
On today’s date I will talk to you about detachment. I’m no expert in this feat, by far. I crush easily, we all know this. Introduce me to a great mind and I will trip, fall and land in like HARD! But years of unrequited love have helped me get my head around the idea of detachment.
If you’re anything like me, you might have had a situation where you like someone and they don’t like you back, that’s normal enough. Every human experiences that at one point or another, problem is a lot of the time I like someone and they think I’m not serious and I’m just being nice, whilst the people I’m not so into misconstrue my niceness for something more. It’s an endless cycle. At this point you’re probably chuckling thinking back to time this happened to you, now imagine that happening over and over, back to back for years on end. Yhup! That’s my life.
Often, I’ve had to grapple with the idea that though I love, I may not actually be in love. (Shocker). I have most recently come to have a willingness to accept situations for what they are, and to do my best to enjoy them as they are. To live in the moment of melding of great minds and enjoy wandering in the creativity that spews from the meeting of amazing souls.
I have come to understand more and more that time is a valuable thing and how we spend it in relation to what and who we want is essential. You will meet people that are essential to the growth of your soul. People who will say out loud the things you think with sincerity and leave you in awe. People who will make you want to learn them, because learning them and how they think shows you how you think and they provide a mirror to your soul. And so you immerse yourself in their being and set about to learn and study them just as you would for an exam.
Then one day you wake up from a crush and realise that that that’s all it was, a crush and your chest doesn’t get a tightness anymore when Daniel Caesar sings “Get You” and you embrace the evolution.
As you sip your coffee I have but one question to ask. Have you ever looked at someone you thought was love personified but as a stranger? As the closest stranger you have ever encountered? A stranger because you now realise there’s so much much more of them you have yet to learn, and that that’s ok. And so you allow yourself time, it’s no longer a manic crash course. That is transcendence, the deeper understanding that there is something your feelings for this person that makes a fitting person to have in your life. As I like to tell my muse:
“I understand it now, that your existence is a celebration of my future. You’re a private treasure that I could never explain, even if I did find someone who could listen.”
Sip your beverage as I give you food for your soul. You will meet some people that will make you realise that you are bound with a oneness of souls, that get you so deep in your feelings you’re certain you’re supposed to love them forever. And indeed you can, but it doesn’t always mean together. There will be people you will love fiercely from the get go. People whose minds you will want to simultaneously decipher and impress. People who will bring you closer to God, and closer to your purpose. People who are heavens joy and a human blessing and you’ll want to keep these people close.
I was scared I lost you to yourself. We saw the waves of life and went under. Some days we struggled to swim and months later resurfaced, caught the waves and conquered them.