Dear 21st Century African Girl: Janu-worry Blues

Dear 21^st Century African Girl: Janu-worry blues!

If you’re anything like me, then by now you know that life doesn’t always turn out as you plan it. Life happens to life (and to the best of us). We can all agree that in spite of all this life must go on.

The first month of the first quarter is done. We have two more to go and undoubtedly we all have goals we had hoped to achieve, and plans to achieve so much more before the first quarter is over. I’m here to tell you that it’s ok if you haven’t achieved all you set out to yet.

When life deals you with curveballs all you can do is adjust your plan and trudge on. Keep running your race and don’t quit. Don’t give up. Keep on keeping on.

I had so many hopes and dreams that after having one of the worst third quarters in my life things would get better once the clock hit 00:00 on 2019. It didn’t happen. Change for the better is not instantaneous and we all know that. But I kept hoping against hope (and in people) that life would pick up. It hasn’t not by much.

Janu-worry came with its own stresses and by the 5^th it had already hit dramatic highs I could not have anticipated. When things are out of your control all you can do sometimes is hang on for dear life and just work on staying alive.

If you are reading this, congratulations! You made it to the end of the month. No doubt month-end has come with its own pressure but keep persevering.

Applaud yourself even for the little achievements. Sometimes the progress we achieve is not the progress we expect but understand that it’s progress all the same. So cut yourself some slack.

So maybe the spiral you’ve gotten into with life is your fault, I’m here to say that that’s not the end. You can still learn from your mistakes and get up again. Your dreams are still valid. You can still make them happen. Today I read an article on Charles Bukowski, he didn’t make it as a writer until his 50s. he kept pushing but with full acceptance of who he was.

My advice to you is learn yourself, and find your soul. When you find what moves you don’t give up on it. You don’t have to go through life with dreams of grandeur, (and I’m not saying dream small here) but you can see and accept where life has gotten you and do your best to figure out what the next steps are to get you to where you need to be.

Dr Seus said, “No one is youer than you”. You know your potential and you have the vision and it’s up to make that vision a reality because no one else will. Appreciate the small steps, and build yourself up because they lead to the bigger leaps. Just don’t give up on yourself, even if the rest of the world seems to have done. Because you have to live with yourself and you spend more time with yourself than anyone one else on this earth. So remember that how you speak to yourself matters.

Work on what needs to be worked on, change what you don’t like if need be. But do accept that you have a part to play in your destiny and there’s so much to live for. You! You are who you need to live for and in turn the rest of the world takes shape around that!

Keep your head up and keep doing the things! Growth is uncomfortable but it makes for a better you so don’t resent it, (at least not so much so that you hinder the rest of your life).

All the best in the new month! May you come out better and happier!

 

 

 

 

 

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LADY OF THE NIGHT

14/01/2016

I can guarantee you an optical feast,
And mental satisfaction.
As my pen caresses paper
You’ll get your times worth.
I’ll spend the midnight hours slaving to make you happy;
After all the consumer is always right.
I want you to be able to come begging for more.
More verbs and nouns,
Synonyms and adjectives
that will make you tick.
I seek to provide you with a literary orgasm,
such a high off words whose kind you’ve never experienced.

As the lady of the night writes,
revel in the opium highs that spew from her ink pipe.
Smell the intoxicating heady mixture of anticipation.
Can you feel the furious rhythm of the pen strokes?
See the candle light flicker,
And the beaded curtain swish as she beckons to your intellect.
Free yourself of inhibitions and join her world,
let the joys of grammatical desire rock you to your core.
Let her regal seduction lull you to uncharted pleasures,
as she writes the night away for you.

LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO STAY STUCK ON UGLY!!!

For the longest time I’ve had issues with letting go. I am one of those people that will bottle things up and let them gnaw at me until my bottle gets full and spills over. (This usually gives way to super venting).

Through various interactions I have realised that I need to master the art of Letting Go. This isn’t a “How-to-Forgive” blog post. On the contrary, this relates more to how to let go after you’ve forgiven and how to move on.

To be honest I haven’t mastered that yet. Its hard to keep distracted when you’re hurting about something but talking it out helps. I’m not talking about having a gossip session with your girls or mitching (or the female equivalent) about whatever it is or whoever it is that has ticked you off so royally. I mean something more constructive.

Call up whoever it is that has wronged you (if you can). Set up an appointment or whatever it is you have to do to gain an audience with them. Then  proceed to get things off your chest.

Lets face it you can try whatever method to get over it, but without some sort of closure or explanation of their actions (even though their explanation might not make sense) you never really will.

At the end of each year a lot of people take time to make resolutions and take stock of their lives, and many enter the New Year screaming “New Year, New Me”. Few realise that they actually have to deal with some of their problems in order to evolve.

Think of it this way, when you’re cleaning a room and keep sweeping the dirt under the rug at some point the dirt under the rug will start to seep through and you can only hide that bump in the rug for so long.

Sometimes, facing people and talking it out can be ugly. That, however, shouldn’t be the reason why you should ignore your need for inner peace. Life is TOO short to stay stuck on UGLY!!

Most of the time we worry about what the other person will think about us and our actions but here’s the thing really, what they think about you is not your problem. You need to look out for you.

Resentment is toxic and super hazardous when its not dealt with. Sometimes you just have to go all the way and severe the ties to the other person and though it may feel like you’re cutting of a limb when you look back after a year or too you’l realise that you did yourself a favour.

Sometimes, though we may never realise this, WE are toxic for others. We need to be open to the idea that people will every now and then want to cut their ties with us and learn to let go of that. Everything and everyone has its season and we always need to be aware of this.

We often get consumed by hatred, resentment and dare I say SELF PITY and refuse to let go of the ugly, forgetting that staying stuck on ugly makes us ugly. It weighs down our hearts and makes us forget to care and pay attention to what we do have.

Take a moment this year to appreciate what you do have and strive to let go of what you need to. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy but it must be done.

I must say this before the month ends HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!  Be the best you you can be. =)